Today is my birthday. As usual, this means I run around like crazy taking care of things I should've done before. It's more like New Years to me, in the sense that I have a mental schedule and I use today to catch up. Unfortunately, the "to do" list this time was the "to done" list. That is, various things that I have already paid for that don't work, didn't get done, or need to be done again. These things in particular really piss me off on the one hand, and yet get really backlogged because I don't like the confrontation it takes to get them done. Once the dam is broken, however, look out. Then I just go through the list and make it clear that I would really prefer to not have to be talking to these people.
One such is my post office. For some reason, even though I work from home, it's easier for the carrier to fill out a little slip and put it in my mailbox than it is to park in front of my house and deliver my mail. Sometimes I get that little slip for things that fit in my mailbox. Sometimes I get it for Express mail. Those in particular kind of frost me.
In this new house, I also get an incredible amount of junk mail. It's really quite overwhelming. Everyweek I get two pieces in particular. Local "newspaper" A and local "newspaper" B. You know, the fishwrappers that interview local high school atheletes so that they can sent you something to wrap the ads in. Ugh.
So I called A to ask them to cease and desist. They informed me that I would have to go to the PO and make a specific request since they mailed to everybody in the zip code. Oh, crap. I really don't think I could go back there today. I just put 10 $.39 stamps on my tax return rather than face those people and get it weighed for the correct price.
I called B and they cheerfully agreed to do this. All it would take is an email to the editor and he would call the post office.
Now, why is B so much better than A? Because while both put this unwanted burden on me (it really pains me that every week I have an entire garbage bin filled with paper I've never read, while at the same time I can see the clear cuts from my porch), A was not even willing to consider helping me remove it. It's like if a fat guy stood on your foot, and when you pointed it out to him, shrugged his shoulders. But B is a polite fat guy. B is going to take care of it.
It also pressed another button of mine: people who lie to you about procedures. A lied to me. They told me flat out that the situation was out of their control. B didn't even think about shirking the responsibility. That's probably the rarest thing these days: people who will go out of their way to do their job. Just ask my postal carrier.
This so impressed me, I called A back to explain to them how superior their competition is and ask if perhaps they might reconsider. Like magic, they offered to take care of it for me.
We'll see.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Directors' Cuts
I just saw an ad for a Director's Cut of Payback. I liked that movie and of course I was interested, but immediately thought, "Hey, shouldn't all movies be 'director's cuts'?" I mean, really what are they saying here, that we are too dumb, en masse, to really enjoy a movie the way it was shot, but later on, there is still money to be made for selling a "better" version of the movie to the smart ones? (And who cuts the director's cut, to make the movie we see anyway? Are we seeing "Bob the janitor's cuts?") That is the implication isn't it, that the director's cut is better? Why does it cost $50-100 million for crap? It seems like it would be cheaper to just not re-edit the directors cut, and give us the better version right from the start.
One day at the county
This stuff really happens to me:
Jason (my realtor):Jon, Kristine (the other realtor) went to the county to start the application process, but there is some archeological information regarding your property that they will only tell you.
Jon: Sigh
Two days later.
Jon: Hi, I’m here to get my secret decoder ring from Janice. 15 minutes while the receptionist looks for Janice and wonders why nobody ever tells her their schedule (something I was also pondering). It turns outSue can help.
Jon: HiSue, apparently there is some secret archaeological info regarding my house?
Sue: Yes, I can help you with that.
I hand her my tax parcel and she starts scrolling a map on her screen.
Jon: I’m confused, if there is some information regarding my property, why isn’t it on my title?
Sue: Oh, it’s secret. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Jon: OK, but why can you tell me and not my agent?
Sue: I told you, it’s secret. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Jon: Yes, but he is my agent, which means that we have a confidential relationship.
Sue: You can tell him (if you want), but I can’t. State law. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Jon: Well if it’s secret, how would I know?
Sue: Well your realtor didn’t do a very thorough job when you bought the place. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Jon: I’m confused, I’m here specifically because he wasn’t able to get this information, now you’re telling me I don’t know it because he should’ve gotten it?
Sue: Yes, but he can’t. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Sensing this application must by default start at Pt.
Roberts (NW corner of state)…
Jon: I’m going to go get a drink.
(They should really have a bar in the county offices.)
Sue: Okay. Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Jon: I’m back. So, um, can’t you just enter coordinates into that?
Sue: On the old one we could, but not the new one. They are probably going to add it.
Jon: Hopefully before you succumb to carpal tunnel and I have to go back in line.
Sue: Here’s
Jon: So, wouldn’t it make sense to tell somebody when they buy property that there is an archeological restriction?
Sue: Well some people would dig it all up looking for stuff! Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
Jon: True, but more likely it would be nice to know before you say, planted a garden?
Sue: Well, we just like to keep it quiet Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll...
Jon: But I owned it, I could’ve done something by mistake much more likely than on purpose?
Sue: Here it is.
Jon: Whew.
Sue: There are no archeological restrictions on your property.
Jon: The secret is that there is no secret?
Sue: Yes.
Jon: The secret, which I took time off from work and drove 50 miles because you couldn’t tell my realtor, is
that there is nothing I can’t tell my realtor?
Sue: Well I can’t tell him that, but you can tell him that.
Jon: Okaaaay. So now what I do with this information to
prove we’ve gone through this exercise?
Sue: Well, I will print you a map and a letter. The letter will state that just because we’ve gone through this doesn’t mean that the new owner won’t have to go through this, though.
Jon: Okay, so I get a map, and a letter that says the secret that there is no secret may still be secret?
Sue: Only if you want to tell them that.
Comes back with a map of my plot and surrounding plots.
Jon:Sue, on this map there are defined archeological sites. Should I be looking at this?
Sue: Sure, but you can’t tell where they are.
Jon: It’s a map.
Sue: But you don’t know whose property.
Jon: It has lot lines and parcel numbers and besides if I stealing I don?t really care from whom, do I? Anyway, the silliest thing just occurred to me: You never asked me for ID.
Sue: Oh, I can tell who you are just from your temperament.
Jon: My reputation precedes me?
Sue: No, it’s just that only an owner would get this upset about this.
Jon: Oh, I think any reasonable person could hardly fail to see the humor in this, to take the time off work, drive up here, and find out there is nothing to find out. I do have to tell you though, you were incredibly efficient.
Sue: Oh, well, normally, I just do this over the phone.
Jon: !
Why is "customer service" one-way?
I work from home. In the little town I work in, windstorms took out power lines for a week this winter. Apparently, there were yet a few branches that hadn't succumbed to the wind because on a blustery spring day, my power suddenly went out.
I'm pretty flexible, so I ran some errands and got up early the next day to make up work. I logged on and was in the groove when suddenly the power went out again. This is suddenly costing me money, and I'm on a deadline, so I call the department of public works. They have no idea, so they connect me to the power company. The power company has one of those automated phone systems (if I'm not careful, the whole blog could be about interfacing with those damn things). So right away, they see the number I'm calling from and a voice asks "Do you live at 666 Wysteria Lane? If so press 1." Well I do and I did. After much pressing of 1 and 2. I find that this is a "scheduled outage" 73 families have been affected, 23 of them have reported it (it is Spring Break, all the other desperate house wives must've wondered what was going on, too).
Okay, at this point I have to ask, if it's a scheduled outtage, and the power company can map my phone number to my address automatically, and they know how many families will be affected, doesn't it make sense that they could've called me first to let me know my power was going to be out? I mean its an automated system. Why not use it for the powers of good? At least call the town you are working in.
I'm pretty flexible, so I ran some errands and got up early the next day to make up work. I logged on and was in the groove when suddenly the power went out again. This is suddenly costing me money, and I'm on a deadline, so I call the department of public works. They have no idea, so they connect me to the power company. The power company has one of those automated phone systems (if I'm not careful, the whole blog could be about interfacing with those damn things). So right away, they see the number I'm calling from and a voice asks "Do you live at 666 Wysteria Lane? If so press 1." Well I do and I did. After much pressing of 1 and 2. I find that this is a "scheduled outage" 73 families have been affected, 23 of them have reported it (it is Spring Break, all the other desperate house wives must've wondered what was going on, too).
Okay, at this point I have to ask, if it's a scheduled outtage, and the power company can map my phone number to my address automatically, and they know how many families will be affected, doesn't it make sense that they could've called me first to let me know my power was going to be out? I mean its an automated system. Why not use it for the powers of good? At least call the town you are working in.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Nonsensical Movie Plots
I was recently in the mood to just go to the movies and be entertained. I saw "The Shooter" with Mark Wahlberg, based on Stephen Hunter's Point of impact (http://www.amazon.com/Point-Impact-Stephen-Hunter/dp/0099453452). I read the book, and though I'm not really a "gun-person" I found all the ballistics, etc. pretty interesting. Hunter really develops his Bob Lee Swagger character, something lacking in a lot of novels, and they are really good reads.
The movie was pretty good, but had this amazing trilogy of scenes that left me baffled. At the risk of giving away too much of the plot, the central hook is that a bullet is fired from one gun, wrapped in paper and shot from a second gun for an assasination. The idea is that the bullet has the ballistics from the first gun, thus framing that shooter. I forget exactly how they got this bullet in the book, I think they had Bob try a shot at a shooting range and got the bullet from a sand bank. The point is that they had a very viable way of getting it. In the movie though ,they had three scenes around this: him shooting the bullet into a stump; him visiting a ballistics expert to hear about the "paper-wrapped bullet" theory; and a court scene where the ballistics expert testifies that the bullet (recovered from the stump) was too mutilated for ballistics, but metallugically matched the bullet from the assasination. Okay, why then did they have the whole 5 minute scene with the ballistics guy? It seems either they should either:
The movie was pretty good, but had this amazing trilogy of scenes that left me baffled. At the risk of giving away too much of the plot, the central hook is that a bullet is fired from one gun, wrapped in paper and shot from a second gun for an assasination. The idea is that the bullet has the ballistics from the first gun, thus framing that shooter. I forget exactly how they got this bullet in the book, I think they had Bob try a shot at a shooting range and got the bullet from a sand bank. The point is that they had a very viable way of getting it. In the movie though ,they had three scenes around this: him shooting the bullet into a stump; him visiting a ballistics expert to hear about the "paper-wrapped bullet" theory; and a court scene where the ballistics expert testifies that the bullet (recovered from the stump) was too mutilated for ballistics, but metallugically matched the bullet from the assasination. Okay, why then did they have the whole 5 minute scene with the ballistics guy? It seems either they should either:
- Have shot the stump scene to have a recoverable bullet and testified to the whole matching ballistics thing.
- Never have shot the ballistics expert scene and kept the court testimony the same.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Press 2 for Spanish
This one always amuses me. If I can't understand English, how can I follow the directions? Of course, if you think about it the "intuitive" option (Press 1 for English) is also just as annoying, if I do speak English, then I have to go to the alternate menu. The only other (politically correct) choice is to give directions in Spanish to the other menu, which I've only heard once.
We use the phone everyday, for going on a century now, and yet, I find it to have some of the poorest user interfaces (UI) of any device out there. I think that as each new feature comes along, they just tack it on to the rest, without thinking about how they interact.
I just added my 5 favorites to my phone service, despite the fact that I'm still short 4 of them. Now I admit it. I write about, among other things, computer architecture, but I'm a total Luddite. At least in the sense that I will play with something for a while, but if I find the UI non-intuitive or impennetrable, then I simply ignore most higher functions unless I find a driving need for them. I'm not the kind of techie who gets a toy and immediately figures out everything about it. For instance, if I do something wrong when dialing, all I know to do is shut the phone and reopen it. Maybe there is some better way, maybe not. There is no more obvious way, and when I saw a fairly intelligent friend of mine do the same thing, my insecurity complex was somewhat mollified. In fact, because I have studied UI, and love UI, in my hubris, I may be the worst user in the world. As soon as I get to something that is illogical, non-functional, non-standard, or just plain dumb, I shut down.
Back to the 5. So now that I have this 5, or actually 1, the "5 faves" menu sits on top of all of the other menus. What a pain in the ass! As an example, if I just called somebody and got disconnected (which happens for instance every time I drive by Mr. Gates's house...) I can't just hit the "call button" and call them back. If they are not on my 5 faves, then I have to either: punch in the buttons, go back to one of my call logs, or look them up in my phone book. Maybe it's a sign of my unpopularity that I get disconnected much more than I call my "fave," but I have found this to be really unhandy. Especially now that they have made driving and calling officially illegal here in WA (before it was just a genetic problem), I don't want to be fumbling with the phone while I'm driving.
Why do I need a special top level menu, or a menu at all? I already have speed dial for certain names, why can't the phone just know which of my contacts is a "fave"? Say I'm 12 and my parents somehow got sucked into giving me a phone. Wow, how cool would it be to have a menu because that's basically all I'm using the phone for anyway. Fine. We could make that the special 12 and under option. But for actual functioning adults changing the entire UI to add another feature is simply incomprehensible. Worse, this feature is supposed to be a time-saver, but in the long run, it is taking a lot more of my time. Do you see a metaphor here? Well, I'll invent one for you: How many other "time savers" really make our life more difficult in the long run? We wouldn't accept these poor UIs if we really stopped to think about them.
What about call waiting? I'd give anything (except for reading the directions) to know how to turn this off on my phone. Worse, I'm probably paying extra for it.
Call waiting is one of the rudest things on the planet, and what's more, it replaces an almost perfect example of UI: the busy signal. Think about it. If I call you, why would I want to be interrupted by another call? If you call me, and I deign to take the call, then it's certainly rude for me to step away from that call. It's saying "I'm sorry, somebody more important is on the other line, I'll get back to you. You don't mind waiting do you? " (Usually, that last part is just implied, nobody even asks. If you put me on call waiting, I'll just hang up - it's amazing how offended people get by that!)
The busy signal, on the other hand, is perfect. It let's me know you are, um, busy. I can call you back, or in these days of automation preferably go directly to voice mail. I just think this is one of many examples of our concept that we are "so busy" these days and use this as an excuse to be rude. "Well, my time is more important than your time, you will just have to put up with these interruptions." This attitude is a dehumanizing element of of our society, upon which many of the situations on this page are founded. We need to take the time, settle down and really listen to the messages we are giving people, and if we decide to interact with them, respect them enough to complete the interaction courteously.
Another thing I wish I could turn off is this message I get every time I delete a message from voice mail "you have deleted the message, to undelete press 1." Okay already, I get it. Please, stop!
We use the phone everyday, for going on a century now, and yet, I find it to have some of the poorest user interfaces (UI) of any device out there. I think that as each new feature comes along, they just tack it on to the rest, without thinking about how they interact.
I just added my 5 favorites to my phone service, despite the fact that I'm still short 4 of them. Now I admit it. I write about, among other things, computer architecture, but I'm a total Luddite. At least in the sense that I will play with something for a while, but if I find the UI non-intuitive or impennetrable, then I simply ignore most higher functions unless I find a driving need for them. I'm not the kind of techie who gets a toy and immediately figures out everything about it. For instance, if I do something wrong when dialing, all I know to do is shut the phone and reopen it. Maybe there is some better way, maybe not. There is no more obvious way, and when I saw a fairly intelligent friend of mine do the same thing, my insecurity complex was somewhat mollified. In fact, because I have studied UI, and love UI, in my hubris, I may be the worst user in the world. As soon as I get to something that is illogical, non-functional, non-standard, or just plain dumb, I shut down.
Back to the 5. So now that I have this 5, or actually 1, the "5 faves" menu sits on top of all of the other menus. What a pain in the ass! As an example, if I just called somebody and got disconnected (which happens for instance every time I drive by Mr. Gates's house...) I can't just hit the "call button" and call them back. If they are not on my 5 faves, then I have to either: punch in the buttons, go back to one of my call logs, or look them up in my phone book. Maybe it's a sign of my unpopularity that I get disconnected much more than I call my "fave," but I have found this to be really unhandy. Especially now that they have made driving and calling officially illegal here in WA (before it was just a genetic problem), I don't want to be fumbling with the phone while I'm driving.
Why do I need a special top level menu, or a menu at all? I already have speed dial for certain names, why can't the phone just know which of my contacts is a "fave"? Say I'm 12 and my parents somehow got sucked into giving me a phone. Wow, how cool would it be to have a menu because that's basically all I'm using the phone for anyway. Fine. We could make that the special 12 and under option. But for actual functioning adults changing the entire UI to add another feature is simply incomprehensible. Worse, this feature is supposed to be a time-saver, but in the long run, it is taking a lot more of my time. Do you see a metaphor here? Well, I'll invent one for you: How many other "time savers" really make our life more difficult in the long run? We wouldn't accept these poor UIs if we really stopped to think about them.
What about call waiting? I'd give anything (except for reading the directions) to know how to turn this off on my phone. Worse, I'm probably paying extra for it.
Call waiting is one of the rudest things on the planet, and what's more, it replaces an almost perfect example of UI: the busy signal. Think about it. If I call you, why would I want to be interrupted by another call? If you call me, and I deign to take the call, then it's certainly rude for me to step away from that call. It's saying "I'm sorry, somebody more important is on the other line, I'll get back to you. You don't mind waiting do you? " (Usually, that last part is just implied, nobody even asks. If you put me on call waiting, I'll just hang up - it's amazing how offended people get by that!)
The busy signal, on the other hand, is perfect. It let's me know you are, um, busy. I can call you back, or in these days of automation preferably go directly to voice mail. I just think this is one of many examples of our concept that we are "so busy" these days and use this as an excuse to be rude. "Well, my time is more important than your time, you will just have to put up with these interruptions." This attitude is a dehumanizing element of of our society, upon which many of the situations on this page are founded. We need to take the time, settle down and really listen to the messages we are giving people, and if we decide to interact with them, respect them enough to complete the interaction courteously.
Another thing I wish I could turn off is this message I get every time I delete a message from voice mail "you have deleted the message, to undelete press 1." Okay already, I get it. Please, stop!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Slow Down! Children Playing
At some point, I think I became that old guy down the street. For a while I lived on 20 acres. If I didn't feel like putting on pants for 2 weeks, well that was just between me and the UPS man who delivered my wine. (Actually this really happened, I was in the yard talking to a friend of my girlfriend for about 10 minutes before it dawned on me that I was in my underwear. You know that dream.)
I came home one night to find the house gone, which was a blessing in terms of the rat I had taken to hunting at night with infrared goggles since he would fall to none of the "guaranteed" poisons or traps on the market, but rather depressing in terms of having to return to society. At the beginning of the year, I moved into a bedroom community. Overall I like the people, mostly because I've never had to talk to them, except for the neighbor who came over when I was putting shelves in my garage and said "You build stuff?" I digress. They do, as a whole have one annoying behavior that I cannot abide.
When the desperate housewives have been coouped up too long, they put these signs up in the street "Slow Down! Children Playing" and turn it into a playground. I already admitted I'm "that guy" but let's see how I got here.
First, I just have to ask how I can respect people who actually teach their children to play in the street. I admit, this probably has something to do with my own upbringing on a sleepy street in upstate Vermont, where my mom had to put signs in front of the house shaped and painted like stop signs saying "STOP JON" to shame me from running under cars like an ill-bred dog. My parents still have that sign in their garage, and honestly, I would probably dead or hurt if they hadn't put them up. The point here is that ultimately, the choice was mine: run into the street and die, or figure it out and take responsibility for it.
Second, how is it that people can shamelessly put other people in charge of their children's well being? This violates Tobey's first postulate of safety: Do not trust your life to a stranger's reflexes, at least not as a general rule. How is it that they think a sign is going to protect their kids and absolve them from doing it? Just the other day, a mom was on one side of the street with a pod of kids milling about her apron strings when one of them darted just about under my wheels across the street. Fortunately, I had just backed out of my yard and was barely moving, but had I been going any normal speed, even 10 MPH, that child would be two-dimensional. Mom didn't even blink when this happened so sure was she about the security of the environment. This brings us to Tobey's second postulate of safety: Folks, if it's predictable, it's not a tragedy.
Third, and now I feel really old, we are steeping these kids in a sense of entitlement that I feel is one of the underlying problems in today's world. First you play in the street, then you dress like a goth and walk down the middle of the road with your friends in the rain, ignoring oncoming traffic. Then you are ramming me with your shopping cart as you stroll along looking at steaks in the freezer, uncomprehending that your progress is impeded, too self-absorbed to look up.
The silliest thing is that there are parks and schools within walking, let alone minivan, distance.
But, why fight it. Even as I write this I'm waiting for the sign company to deliver my new sign "Men Drinking in Street," after all, if you learn to play in the street when you are little why stop when you grow up?
I came home one night to find the house gone, which was a blessing in terms of the rat I had taken to hunting at night with infrared goggles since he would fall to none of the "guaranteed" poisons or traps on the market, but rather depressing in terms of having to return to society. At the beginning of the year, I moved into a bedroom community. Overall I like the people, mostly because I've never had to talk to them, except for the neighbor who came over when I was putting shelves in my garage and said "You build stuff?" I digress. They do, as a whole have one annoying behavior that I cannot abide.
When the desperate housewives have been coouped up too long, they put these signs up in the street "Slow Down! Children Playing" and turn it into a playground. I already admitted I'm "that guy" but let's see how I got here.
First, I just have to ask how I can respect people who actually teach their children to play in the street. I admit, this probably has something to do with my own upbringing on a sleepy street in upstate Vermont, where my mom had to put signs in front of the house shaped and painted like stop signs saying "STOP JON" to shame me from running under cars like an ill-bred dog. My parents still have that sign in their garage, and honestly, I would probably dead or hurt if they hadn't put them up. The point here is that ultimately, the choice was mine: run into the street and die, or figure it out and take responsibility for it.
Second, how is it that people can shamelessly put other people in charge of their children's well being? This violates Tobey's first postulate of safety: Do not trust your life to a stranger's reflexes, at least not as a general rule. How is it that they think a sign is going to protect their kids and absolve them from doing it? Just the other day, a mom was on one side of the street with a pod of kids milling about her apron strings when one of them darted just about under my wheels across the street. Fortunately, I had just backed out of my yard and was barely moving, but had I been going any normal speed, even 10 MPH, that child would be two-dimensional. Mom didn't even blink when this happened so sure was she about the security of the environment. This brings us to Tobey's second postulate of safety: Folks, if it's predictable, it's not a tragedy.
Third, and now I feel really old, we are steeping these kids in a sense of entitlement that I feel is one of the underlying problems in today's world. First you play in the street, then you dress like a goth and walk down the middle of the road with your friends in the rain, ignoring oncoming traffic. Then you are ramming me with your shopping cart as you stroll along looking at steaks in the freezer, uncomprehending that your progress is impeded, too self-absorbed to look up.
The silliest thing is that there are parks and schools within walking, let alone minivan, distance.
But, why fight it. Even as I write this I'm waiting for the sign company to deliver my new sign "Men Drinking in Street," after all, if you learn to play in the street when you are little why stop when you grow up?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)